I wrote yesterday about the gratitude that I felt for foolishly not reading the small print on my hotel voucher. How that meant not being able to use it as a raffle prize in my fundraising activities, but how it had turned out to be a non-mistake after all.
A day on from our slightly surreal, deeply reflective but full of laughter weekend and I’m still ruminating. Back to ‘reality’ (although that’s a-whole-nother blog of its own) and I’m feeling those insights a little deeper here, seeing them a shade lighter there, sensing the nuances and subtleties.
I find as I get older that it’s harder to spend time making too much small talk. I gravitate towards people who provide a safe space to talk about real stuff. Where I feel safe enough to challenge them with sometimes difficult questions and thirstilly encourage that they do the same for me. Where I know that whatever comes up for me, it’s going to okay. My hand will be held. I will not be judged. (Even when I take photos of Dave Gahan’s hips on her iPad, with my iPhone, one bottle in).
Because the thing is this. If we love each other then we want the best for each other. And all our actions and words come from a place of love. And coming from a place of love does not always mean being sweet and nice. It means that you challenge but you choose carefully what you say based on the understanding that we all have battles, we all have challenges and none of us is perfect. Where you may be sussed and blossoming, I may be falling over myself, blindly, with new-born foal legs on unfamiliar land. And you speak or act with the clear intention of empowering someone rather than belittling them. You shine light on each other’s perceived darknesses (the as-yet unseen). Only then you can help turn that unsteady new-born foal into a rainbow horse.
This weekend (BECAUSE OF YOU!!! – apologies for all the in-jokes), I shared, for the first time, what my Bikram yoga vision is for my future. It’s been getting clearer over the past few months but in her safe company I allowed myself to explore it Out Loud. Much of my dream I have kept a closely guarded secret. I share bits with some people, other bits with others. But now it’s starting to find its way outside, an initial sharp intake of breath at the chill but slowly relaxing to the freedom of coolth.
You always know the ones who really love you because they’re the ones who walk alongside you when you have a dream, helping you decode the messages. They become the backing singers (another in joke) to your themesong. They truly care about your dream, because they truly care about you.
I may not be a rainbow horse (yet).
But I have one.